chanting "i'm not a furry" to ward off my demons
anime sweat sommelier
i love japan because of their culture"
every female is a 10
2011 was the peak of my life
8/1/2020 New finds:
Critique of contemporary contextualizations of incels
Analysis of grey and black-market firearms in Venezuela
New Superbunnyhop video on Hunt:Showdown
New solo camp video
A course at an Italian university used my picture of the SE-700. Made coffee with an Aeropress, great success. Didn't result in bean juice like my french press. Smells like the tail end of a fireworks show. The nice coffee bean shop down the street had a new face working there. Some late reforms to my isekai manga page, massive updates to the rest. Found out how css works, only took me 2 years. Forget barring yourself from the internet 6 days out of the week, Hastiesthandiwork has disappeared altogether.
A new guestbook comment ｡^‿^｡
8/2/2020 Sun's out. Blocking all social media site elements related to follower numbers or points. If I wanted to see numbers go up I'd stare into a clock. I've also started to notice that my twitter feed is starting to resemble facebook despite only following mangaka. It's a home-grown stream of mobile game ads, athlete tweets, and Vtuber stream announcements. Still playing FE:Heroes, don't know why. It does its job as a free paper-thin mobile game that makes me want to play a proper FE.
8/7/2020 More manga, Dungeon Meshi is fantastic. Such great pacing and it's equal parts an easy read and engaging. Finished Miageru to Kimi wa, more shoujo than shoujos.
The Azumanda Daioh anime is actually quite surreal, with odd pacing and the baffling OP/ED theme selections. Some shows are very explicit in their 4koma roots like Yuyushiki, but this one is just strange. The fishing anime is fine.
New hanten, fairly vanilla. Working on some drop-crotch cargos but the fly is still unfinished. Somewhat of a dry spell when it comes to sewing, not many new exciting ideas. Been thinking of doing a themed photobook, I need something to shake up how I take pictures, a different way of thinking that will dialate my definitions of "worthy of a photo."
8/11/2020 New finds:
Swedish clothing shop that offers open-source clothing patterns, the monolithic patterns are neat.
Despairing over the fact that any character over 25 is never made into a nendoroid.
An O3 was coughing on the train with a mask around his chin, might catch the rona because I decided to take the time to wash my hands at the station. It was a good run.
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Continued rain. Not feeling so good. I feel like I've forgotten how to enjoy myself outside to be honest. There was a Nikon F70 at bookoff today. Felt incredible in the hands, really well made. Other stuff in the bin included EXE's, Nikkomat's, Kiss', the usual. Re-read my favorite bl manga, Kimi ha Natsu no Naka. Still fantastic, even if it's reliant on two common tropes. It's palpable to me because I find it too be not that gay, as opposed to the relentless fingers in bums normally splashed across the pages.
Muji opened up their applications again, getting ready to furiously fill in those questions. I was looking at a few sharehouses in case I do get the job and have to move. I'm not terribly sentimental about this place. Remembered that one of my dad's friends offered me a job if he opens up a resturaunt. Issue is he lived out near Chiba, which is easily 2 hours away by train. I had just moved, freed of $2500 and 15lbs of body weight, and the question took me completely off-guard. Still feel bad about the lukewarm answer I gave him. But I have options now, another clean slate.
Feeling lonely. I wrote out this pathetic inward-looking diatribe, sort of the polar opposite to blogs talking about how they hate women and how they're hopelessly addicted to hentai. I guess these feelings are part of the Japanese experience. Cooking is really fun though, made mixed rice with bamboo shoots, goya chanpuru with pork, vegetable broth ramen. Provided I have a handful of working brain matter to think of recipes I think i'm a competent cook.
Going through my manga. Dear god do I have too much, it's nearing 500GB. One wonders how much time and effort of someone else's life I'm discarding by choosing to drop a series. Read a particularly devastating suspense manga that I managed to write about here, another Chi No Wadachi moment. It's the kind of series that lingers with you, and specific scenes intrude back in your head like a menopausal woman's hot flashes.
Itsuka Moterukana emanates more crippling futility than Chechen war footage. It chronicles the adventures of a 40-something mangaka as he hauls his corpse across matchmaking advisors, dating courses, and dead-end relationships. It sort of whittles away at your own ego as you watch this poor man get battered by the system until only a set of statistics are left to judge. Reading this you start to feel paranoid about your own value as a carton of eggs or a spoonful of daddybatter. Meanwhile he shuffles himself to tanning salons, clothing shops, and ergonomics instructors in a desperate attempt to accrue cultural capital, to polish up his genetic code on display.
7/19/2020 a comprehensive article on Qanon. Reading through it is almost a resignation of sanity, people like this actually exist. As illustrated in coronavirus conspiracy theories the internet's offspring is somehow a condemnation of democratized speech, a hit piece against humanity.
I feel comfortable in this apartment, maybe not settled but this had become my "home." My lukewarm feelings probably stem from my lukewarm feelings on Kanagawa as a whole. But I've been looking inward, trying to quantify what exactly was my idealized image of living in Japan while in the US. As I see it, there's 3 big blocks. There's rustic countryside living where you live in great big keyless wooden houses. You gradually learn to tolerate insects and crushing isolation. I associate it with tatami mats, gravel driveways, and watchful judgement of pensioners still working the fields. It's quiet but inconvenient. There's also chummy suburban life, still sedate but a step up from having to drive to accomplish basic industralized life. I imagine midcentury cardboard houses, narrow Chibimaruko-chan neighborhoods, and lots of rust from derelict detective signs. This is where other grandma dwells. Finally, there's the center of Tokyo hovel. Microscopic apartments, droning subway noises, and grotty concrete everywhere. This is what tumblr blogs obsess over, a sort of monochrome cyberpunk.
And you know what suburbia is pretty damn great, especially when there's a river and some greenery nearby. But maybe I should've blasted away a few pennies living in the center of Japan while I'm still young, maybe Shibuya or Ikebukuro. It would be a dehumanizing experience, living among what seems like thousands of other shuffling corpses, but you must feel like you're living center-frame. Koenji was nothing special with your typical city layout. The thing about Japan is that rent isn't neccessarily always going to be high, there's substancial variance even within Tokyo. The issue is that down payments and moving fees will eviscerate your wallet, easily reaching $3500 depending on the apartment. I'd easily say that places worth living in the US have higher rent than a comparable place in Japan in regards to convenience.
7/23/2020 New finds:
Notions of masculinity and family structure among preppers
"There are not many occasions in our modern era for proving one’s mettle; our commerce-soaked interactions are scrubbed clean of bravery, valor, even expressions of basic ingenuity. Despite the constant blaring of panic coming from the media—EJ says apocalypse feels like it’s always 'one headline away'—most of us are hobbled by the cushy expanse of consumer circumstance."
On the Olympics' questionable brand image
"The phrase “All barriers of nationality and race have vanished” is a useful one if you plan on annexing some land, but this pan-humanist branding, so loved by Official Olympic Sponsor Coca-Cola, does little to reinforce the true Olympic ideal of clearly defined nationhood. (It is also doubly ironic when spoken in a film where Germany is still riven into East and West and South Africa is banned for preferring apartheid to the pole vault.)
Recontextualization of sex work through the online marketplace
"Both Davis and Mazzei rely on a suite of nonce-words––empowerment, agency, self-exploration, validation––that lend stature but not rigor to contemporary progressive discourses inside and outside the sexual domain....it is hard not to notice the distinctly disturbing nature of many cybersexual 'yums,' or to ignore the gray area between coercion and unencumbered choice that comes into play when sexual availability is placed on the auction block."
"In his book Nationalism Reframed, the sociologist Rogers Brubaker explains how a rising generation of Serbs, entering political life in the economic twilight of the 1980s, came to develop a kind of persecution complex, envisioning Yugoslavia as a frontier of secession-prone republics where their majority was dwindling."
Re-watching Wii no Ma while sewing, the now-defunct video channel on the nintendo console. Bursting with sentimentality, it's a portal to people's lives through their labor. Like a more personal How's it's Made. Just wonderful. The uploader has a macro fetish.
The most manga I've gone through in the last year. Tons of unexpected keepers too, from a romance manga about breadmaking to one about mermaids. Still procrastinating on reading the actually good ones.
7/29/2020 More sewing, I count 6 projects that I'm in the middle of. Gusseted pockets are still hard. Fiddling with the C35 again, the third that has fallen into my hands. The first I dropped while at UCSB and died, the second black one I sold, and this third one is a junker. Rangefinder is off, light meter is dead. Typical stuff but the rangefinder adjustment screw is giving me trouble and I no longer own a soldering iron. Sold another camera, a late 2000's zoom P&S.
I make a pretty good Goya Chanpuru. Found that I'm steadily moving away from eating fish. Maybe I'm just shit at preparing it. Dad's having trouble making rent.
good god remember these shows
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