These days it’s commonplace to do everything online, from designing the layout of your kitchen to locating a stranger prepared to kill and eat you for mutual sexual gratification.

hi. I'm currently a student studying abroad in Japan. Part-time vegetarian, full-time rambler. I seem to get along best with middle-aged housewives. My username is from a sound clip of a friend saying "I've been in pain for a while now" later used as a ringtone. I started this site in late 2018. Going through neocities is adorable, I wish there were other ways of this sort of personal self-expression. Everyone on reddit and tumblr are faceless and discord is infested with people who would stab each another if given the opportunity. Every other mainstream service has a cultivated, transient experience that feels deeply impersonal. Neocities is great. My time here now easily rivals the other sanity debuffs I click through.

I've always been curious about the circles people choose to gravitate toward: the art they enjoy, music they listen to, hobbies they invest in. Tumblr was a great example of a carefully cultivated environment: An endless feed of media that expands upon your existing interests depending on who you follow. Expand your scope and more diverse stuff comes your way. Archives of Geocities and by extension, Neocities grants me that perspective through demonstrations of self-expression in open-ended personal sites. Each one is wildly different in content and charm, it illicits something in me that I don't feel with feeds of algorithmically selected posts.

Above all, I'm interested in the mentalities people adhere to. Their outlook on life, how they structure their day-to-day and reflect about their past. I've had a rather contentious relationship with both, and it's refreshing to see some different approaches.

A .txt file used to occupy my thoughts, but it was too 2D to be a helpful reference. Neocities allows me to catalog my thoughts in a concise manner and include pictures. Best part is I feel compelled to distill down my emotions into something succinct, a plate of palpable regurgitations.

I write about what I like, and I try not to compartmentalize my thoughts. This site is a good exercise for me to have my interests laid out and periodically updated. I was the kinda kid to bring their favorite toys everywhere. That mentality has stuck with me I guess. Hopefully you'll find some personal intersections in my writings. Sorry if you're a neo-nazi or something.

questions? suggestions? death threats? take a gander at the guestbook,, or I'm just a normal guy and I'd love to hear your thoughts about anything.

Written: March 6th, 2019

Site created: July 8th, 2018

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  • Fashion - vintage workwear/military garments
  • Clothesmaking
  • Film Photography
  • Japanese Photobooks
  • Interior design
  • Cooking
  • Collecting cursed images
  • Worldbuilding (Planned)
  • Wildlife Photography (Planned)
  • Headphones and Audio Equipment
  • Horology
  • Embroidery
  • Bushcraft
  • Everyday carry
  • Vintage Lighters
  • Pocketknives
  • LEGO
  • games

  • [fps] Cruelty Squad
  • [fps] Team Fortress 2 Pre-2014
  • [fps] Halo:Reach
  • [rpg] System Shock 2
  • [rpg] Deus Ex
  • [rpg] Pathologic 2
  • [rpg] Fire Emblem 8
  • [rpg] Minecraft beta 1.7.3
  • [rpg] Maplestory Pre-Big Bang
  • [horror] Twilight Syndrome
  • [colony sim] Rimworld
  • [narrative] Papers, please
  • [stealth] Metal Gear Solid 3
  • [exploration] LSD:Dream Emulator
  • [rhythm] Warioware Gold
  • [rhythm?] Katamari Damacy
  • music

  • [rap] milo
  • [rap] open mike eagle
  • [rap] noname
  • [rap] deca
  • [rap] atmosphere
  • [j-folk] zabadak
  • [j-pop] tomggg
  • [j-indie] ラブリーサマーちゃん
  • [j-pop] ゆのみ
  • [j-rap] 泉まくら
  • [j-rock] シュリスペイロフ
  • [j-rock] ecosystem
  • [boomertunes] Julie London
  • [boomertunes] Doris Day
  • [classical] chopin, brahms, vivaldi, faure
  • anime

  • [suspense] monster
  • [suspense] perfect blue
  • [comedy] gintama
  • [comedy] danshikoukousei no nichijou
  • [slice of life] tamayura
  • [suffering] madoka magica
  • [suffering] clannad: after story
  • [suffering] evangelion
  • [objectively shit] hayate no gotoku
  • [objectively shit] hoshizora e kakaru hashi
  • [objectively shit] highschool of the dead
  • [objectively shit] candy boy
  • [objectively shit] strawberry panic
  • [objectively comfy] hidamari sketch
  • manga

  • [suspense] [浦沢直樹] モンスター monster
  • [suspense] [伊図透] 銃座のウルナ juuza no ulna
  • [suspense] [ながべ] とつくにの少女 totsukuni no shoujo
  • [horror] [押見修造] 血の轍 chi no wadachi
  • [existential trans horror] [ふみふみこ] ぼくらのへんたい bokura no hentai
  • [???] [浅野いにお] おやすみプンプン oyasumi punpun
  • [???] [夜宵草] ReLIFE -リライフ-
  • [???] [佐保里] 神様ごはん-小料理 高天原にようこそ
  • [comedy] [三上小又] ゆゆ式 yuyushiki
  • [comedy] [熊之股鍵次] 魔王城でおやすみ maoujou de oyasumi
  • [slice of life] [水瀬るるう] 大家さんは思春期!ooyasan ha seishhunki
  • [slice of life] [あずまきよひこ] よつばと! yotsubato
  • [slice of life] [あずまきよひこ] あずまんが大王 azumanga daioh
  • [slice of life] [蒼樹うめ] ひだまりスケッチ hidamari sketch
  • [slice of life] [カツヲ] 三ツ星カラーズ mitsuboshi colors
  • [slice of life] [matoba] ベルゼブブ嬢のお気に召すまま
  • [slice of life] [作井ルビ] あかまつ akamatsu
  • [slice of life] [あfろ] ゆるキャン△ yurucamp
  • [slice of life] [吉田覚] 働かないふたり hatarakanai futari
  • [slice of life] [オダトモヒト] 古見さんは、コミュ症です。komisan
  • [furry slice of life] [ユウキ レイ] お稲荷JKたまもちゃん! oinarujk tamamochan
  • [isekai] [今井ムジイ×すずの木くろ×黒獅子] 宝くじで40億当たったんだけど異世界に移住する
  • [isekai] [Roy×りりんら] 神達に拾われた男
  • [isekai] [小杉繭×錬金王] 転生して田舎でスローライフをおくりたい
  • [fantasy] [九井諒子] ダンジョン飯 dungeon meshi
  • [romance] [水谷フーカ] 14歳の恋/GAME OVER 14sai no koi/game over
  • [romance] [桐丘さな ] 大正処女御伽話 taisho otomemonogatari
  • [romance] [斎藤けん] かわいいひと kawaiihito
  • [romance] [芦原妃名子] Bread&Butter
  • [romance] [河内遙] 関根くんの恋 sekine un no koi
  • [romance] [なかとかくみこ] 塩田先生と雨井ちゃん shito sensei to amaichan
  • [romance] [モリコロス] のぼさんとカノジョ? nobosan to kanojo?
  • [romance] [しろまんた] 先輩がうざい後輩の話 senpai ga uzai kouhai no hanashi
  • [romance] [TOBI] 屋上姫 okujouhime
  • [romance] [[若林稔弥] 徒然チルドレン tsurezure children
  • [romance] [五十嵐正邦] 川柳少女 senryuu shoujo
  • [romance] [雪森寧々] 人間に恋した鬼は咲う
  • [gl] [古鉢るか] はなにあらし hananiarashi
  • [gl] [雪子] ふたりべや futaribeya
  • [gl] [郷本] 夜と海 yoru to umi
  • [gl] [へーべー] 魔女とほうきと黒縁メガネ
  • [gl] [萩埜まこと] 熱帯魚は雪に焦がれる
  • [bl] natsu ha kimi no naka
  • [objectively shit] [山本崇一朗] くノ一ツバキの胸の内
  • [objectively shit] [ナナシ] イジらないで、長瀞さん
  • [objectively shit] [山本崇一朗] からかい上手の高木さん
  • [deep sea fishgirls] [犬犬] 深海魚のアンコさん
  • movie

  • Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls
  • The Holy Mountain
  • Heat
  • Woman in the Dunes
  • The Face of Another


  • b r o w n
  • food

  • nanbanzuke, nishin soba, clam chowder, beef stroganoff, banh mi, Lo mai gai, tamales


  • japanese plum soda, comatose-inducing coffee


  • standing up too fast


  • silkmoths
  • bird

  • Grey Heron, Western Screech-Owl, Shoebill, Puffin
  • aircraft

  • A-6 Intruder, F-14 Tomcat, OV-10 for that sweet, sweet, economical COIN
  • car

  • Honda NSX, Datsun 240z
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    Braun Atelier Mainboard Terminal noguchi table Rogan Gregory Sculptural Coffee Table lensvelt AVL Cloudtable Isokon Penguin Donkey Papasan Wicker chair Oo table lamp White Akabeko Haniwa Figure tripod chawan Insect Display


    Kapital Tri-P Kapital Kamakura Blouson Kapital Ringcoat Kapital Dogis Fleece French Extreme Orient pants reproduction
  • RM Williams chelsea boots Asics Gel Yeti Seiko SCVS013 Seiko 6117-8000 Nomos Tangente Sinn 556i Mother of Pearl Grand Seiko SBGM221 GMT? Grand Seiko SBGR287?


    books photobooks


    Sweet osmanthus DT1990 Senko Nendoroid FREEing Reimu 1/4 figure Sojiro's Treasure set anko rubber strap


    Nikon F100? Ricoh Canon Powershot Zoom Monocular?

    never going to happen

    Mamiya 6 Leica M6J Zuiko 35~80mm f/2.8 Zuiko 40mm f/2 Zuiko 85mm f/2 Moondrop Venus Audeze LCD-2 Pre-fazor
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  • 9/3/2019

  • scan photobooks
  • Finish PC case
  • Start sewing again
  • dye,spraypaint,embroider clothing
  • Start sewing lolita
  • Build bits of furniture
  • Assemble Hi-fi corner
  • Build Mini-ITX PC (AMD 2400g) 2/13/2020
  • Shoot film at Maizuru countryside
  • Take wildlife photography
  • Take lo-fi trash photos, recreate cursed images
  • Recreate childhood photos
  • diy chess set?
  • diy botany notebook?
  • play a good fire emblem (oxymoron
  • take a pottery class
  • make a hidamari yukkuri, spurdo
  • shoot the provia
  • grass balcony - ghrowing container?
  • submit to 35mmc, reading project
  • shoot more f2, petri
  • get fabric patches printed
  • play Golden Light, entity researchers
  • stonecarving/woodcarving
  • paper mache furniture
  • wooden furniture
  • hifi console
  • needle rugs
  • ceramics
  • print bedsheets
  • bucket list
  • go to a peaches show
  • recipe book, parallel botany/Codex Seraphinianus book


  • Takehara - tamayura
  • iidesan mountain
  • anime manholes
  • 男子高校生の日常 river scene in Chiba
  • nakatomi capsule hotel
  • touhou vending machine in Tochigi
  • 白鹿権現 animal shrine
  • 大平和祈念塔 tower
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